Turning Obstacles into Opportunities: Raising Resilient Children Through Faith and Stoic Wisdom

Every parent wants their child to succeed, to stay motivated, persevere through challenges, and grow in wisdom and strength. Yet in a world that idolises comfort and ease, many children struggle with frustration, fear of failure, or giving up too quickly when learning feels hard.

Recently, I finished reading The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday, a modern guide based on the ancient philosophy of Stoicism, the art of turning trials into triumphs. As I reflected, I was struck by how closely some of these ideas resonate with Biblical truths about perseverance, faith, and character, for instance Romans 5:3–4 which says, “We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” 

These are powerful truths to help us as parents or educators in raising our children for all round  success. Permit me to share with you today, five key take aways from the book:

1. We must help our children/students have a “Proper Perspective”. 

Proper perspective means, “It’s not all about what happens, but how you see it”. Children often interpret obstacles as proof that they “can’t do it”, but both the Stoics and Scripture remind us that our perspective determines our success. The Bible teaches us not to conform to the patterns we see around, but to renew our minds, so that every event becomes an opportunity rather than an ordeal. 

So, as parents, we must learn to model peace and calm in the midst of life’s chaos. When we go through tough situations in our work, family, or personal growth, we can pause and ask, “What is God teaching me through this?” or “How can I grow and get better because of this?” Having the right perspective keeps us from getting stuck in the moment, whether it’s a success or a setback, and helps us lift our eyes to see what could be.

The same principle applies to how we guide our children. When we keep a healthy perspective, we learn to celebrate and reward effort over mere achievement. Even if your child doesn’t “win” today, if they have given their best and worked diligently, that effort is never wasted. In time, those consistent efforts will blossom into lasting success.

2. We must Encourage Action Over Basking or Wallowing in Emotion.

Stoic wisdom teaches that once we have accepted what we can’t control, we should focus on what we can do next. In essence, “Do What You Can, With What You Have”.

Apostle Paul also says in Philippians 3:13,  “....I have not achieved ‘it’, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead”,

In other words, we should not remain stuck in a single season of celebrating wins or sorrowing over losses. Instead, we must learn to stretch forward to the next rung on the ladder of progress, building on the lessons from past achievements or failures.

This is such a crucial point, because many people become paralysed in a particular moment and struggle to process the way forward. Yet, the way forward is always action: taking the next step, working on the next project, acting on the next idea, and doing so faithfully. God blesses steady effort.

When your child feels overwhelmed with joy after success or disappointment after a setback, gently guide them to take the next faithful step. Encourage them to revise for the next test, practise the next skill, or review the next section. In doing so, we teach them the value of consistency — a virtue far more powerful than one-time achievements.

3. We must Model Persistence and Perseverance 

Ryan Holiday wrote that persistence is power. In other words, “Endure and excel.” The Bible says it even more beautifully in Galatians 6:9: “Let us not be weary in doing well, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

So, how can we encourage our children to keep showing up, even when results take time? We begin by modelling it ourselves. When we stay diligent and faithful in our own work, especially in difficult seasons, our children notice. They learn more by watching than by listening.

We can also strengthen their faith by sharing our own testimonies of perseverance. My children are always fascinated when I tell them how I once had to retake an exam I initially failed. Through stories like these, they’re learning a powerful truth: failure is not final.

Most importantly, we remind them that even when progress feels slow, God is still at work. He is weaving every effort, delay, and disappointment into His greater plan. He truly makes all things work together for our good.

4. We must Model “Trusting in God for things we Cannot Change”

Stoicism calls it Amor Fati - “love of fate” (or an acceptance of ‘Circumstances beyond our control’). The Bible calls it FAITH- resting in God’s sovereignty even when we don’t understand the “why.”

Our children, as they grow, will pass through many seasons and face situations completely beyond their control: an unjust teacher, an unfair treatment, a cancelled football game after weeks of practice, a missed opportunity to showcase their skills, or even a fallout with a friend.

In those moments, we must teach them the power of prayer, to turn first to God rather than to grumbling. We must teach them to ‘praise before they complain’, affirming their trust in a God who sees what they cannot see.

This kind of faithful acceptance is not weakness; it is wisdom. It is the quiet confidence that every blocked opportunity might be God’s gentle redirection toward something far better.

5. We must See Every Obstacle as an Opportunity for Growth

One of the Stoics’ core teachings is that “obstacles become the way” forward. Scripture echoes this timeless truth in James 1:2–3:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

I firmly believe that every problem we face carries within it an opportunity to develop the skills, strength, and wisdom needed for the success we desire. There is always success ahead, but the real question is: ‘are we ready for it?’ Obstacles are God’s training ground, preparing us for what’s next.

We must teach our children (and students) to look back on their challenges with gratitude, recognising how those experiences have helped them grow. One practical way to do this is by keeping a Faith and Growth Journal together, a simple record of the obstacles faced each week, how they responded, and how they’ve grown through the process.

As we reflect, we must remind them, and ourselves to keep our words positive throughout the journey. Nothing weakens faith faster than speaking and replaying negative words. Instead, we can fill our hearts and homes with affirmations of faith and hope, such as:

• “You’re becoming stronger and wiser through this.”

• “It’s all going to work out together for good.”

• “This challenge is paving the way for excellent success in the end.”

When we choose to see obstacles this way, we’re building faith, character, and confidence in the God who turns every trial into triumph.

Some Final Thoughts

As parents and educators, our goal is not to raise children who avoid difficulty, but those who walk through it with grace, faith, and courage. We cannot remove every obstacle from their path, but we can give them something far greater- a steadfast mindset that sees every challenge as a classroom where God refines their character.

The obstacle is not the enemy; it is the opportunity. When our children learn to respond with faith, action, and perseverance, they will not only shine in their academics, but also grow into strong, resilient individuals, equipped to thrive in every area of life.

Book Recommendation

For those who want to go deeper into building resilience and faith in children, I highly recommend “Raising Resilient Kids: 8 Principles for Bringing Up Courageous, Faith-Filled Children” by Kathy Koch.

This book offers practical, faith-based ways to help children develop emotional strength, godly confidence, and perseverance. It’s a perfect companion to the timeless lessons in The Obstacle Is the Way.

If you decide to purchase and read it, I’d love for you to share your reflections and learning points with me — I’m always eager to glean from the wisdom and experiences of fellow parents and educators.

Have an Opportunity-Maximised October!